Picture the scene. The full washing basket with clean folded clothes at the bottom of the stairs, ready to be taken up. I’m in the kitchen, tidying up from the battle that was dinner with the kids. Husband comes home from a hard day’s work and goes upstairs to get changed. Now someone please tell me why, why, why does the washing basket not go with him? It’s clearly there to be taken up, it’s difficult to step over it to get up the stairs and it’s bloody heavy! Don’t get me wrong, if I ask him to take it up he will, no problem. But while I am warming his dinner up and scraping the food off the table that magically fell off the plate, or out of the children’s mouths, I don’t always immediately jump in to action and think to say “Oh love could you take the washing basket up for me if you’re going up anyway?” So why not think ‘ah, washing basket, me strong man take up for woman.’

And does it end there? No! My all-time favourite: “Is the dishwasher clean or dirty?” ‘Open the blimmen door and have a look! Don’t call me from another room (I’m probably taking the washing basket upstairs) to ask me, if the contents of the dishwasher are clean or not. Is strong man scared of Dishwasher?’ “Honey, why can you not put your plate in the dishwasher? Why put it in the sink?” I ask. “I didn’t know if it was dirty or clean.” Really? I mean really????

Or another classic. “Can you tell the children to switch the lights off when they leave a room?” “Yes, I can, but I herewith give you permission to talk to them directly.”

We also have the passive aggressive statements. “Why is there no toilet paper in the bathroom?” Well let me think about this one love. I am no psychic but I guess the person who used the last bit didn’t put a new one in? What you are really trying to say is, I expect toilet paper in the toilet, tell the kids to replace it when they used the last bit.

Pronouns, get them right will you please. Don’t get me wrong, if I wanted a professor of the English language I would have married one, but basic knowledge should be a given. “We should really reseal the bath Love.” He doesn’t mean we he means me and I’m not doing it.

Sunday afternoon. “Why are we out of milk?” Mmmh. Probably because we used it all. “Now there isn’t enough for coffee.” “No there isn’t.” Big sigh. Me: “Shall I go and get some?” The martyr: “No, it’s alright. I just wont have a coffee then.” Oh for crying out loud I’ll nip to the corner shop.

“Why is the heating on?” I thought the 2 degrees outside were a good reason to put it on, but please correct me if I’m wrong.

At least I can get a good nights sleep and replenish for the next day. That is, if I win the race of falling asleep first. I did not. He is snoring, I nudge him gently, nothing, I nudge him harder, nothing. In his words I get up and do a wrestling jump, elbow first on to him. “What are you doing?” “You are snoring.” “I’m not snoring I’m not even asleep.” “Well if you’re not asleep, then stop making those noises.”

Me: “Good morning love, how did you sleep?” “I had a dreadful night, didn’t get any sleep at all”. That’s not what it sounded like.

You got to love them!






School Trips

pexels-photo-290386.jpegSchool trips should be something fun for everyone involved. The kids get an exiting time away from home, the teachers get a free trip whilst working and the parents get a little break, knowing their child is safe and having fun. This all changes when these trips become a financial burden to families.

My 15-year-old daughter came home and announced the school is organising a trip to New York for all the art, photography and drama students. The cost is £1400. This does not include spending money or food ( but it does include the cost of the teachers going). Let me just make it clear that she is not in a private school for privileged kids, so needless to say I nearly fell off my chair.

Why New York? If it’s for art,drama and photography students surely Paris would have been able to offer enough. Apart from the cost factor I can be in Paris in just over an hour, should God forbid something happened. New York however is a day trip away. Why not ask the bill payer for their opinion first before you dangle the sweets in front of the children’s nose? Paris compared to New York sounds fad now, but if it was offered without the knowledge of New York being an option, all students would have been exited.

Back to the cost of it all. Ok it is 12 months away, time to save up, but a lot of families don’t have the means of putting that much money away every month. It’s just a shame that the children are being put in a class system, while still in high school. So the ones better off go and the others wave them good-by, that’s just sad. I thought the whole idea of school uniforms was so that all children look the same, are treated the same and have the same clothes on. Not one dressed in Prada and the other in Primark. So why do school trips not apply to these rules?

Lucky for my daughter, we have a university fund put aside for her where I can borrow the money from and drip feed it back in over the next few years, otherwise I don’t think she could have gone. For that kind of money I can take the whole family abroad.

Well all there is left to say is that she is exited and I am worried sick.